Color me all sorts of broken. (tweaked_outtt) wrote,
Color me all sorts of broken.

God damn it's been a year.

So I know no one reads this anymore. I kind of forgot it exsisted, I'm just updating for myself. I've been locked up a few more times. Got drunk and cut off my ankle monitor, ran away, failed five drug tests in a row for meth, started selling ecstasy and eating it like fucking candy. I got even worse into meth. I had drug tests weekly, and couldn't even put the pipe down long enough to pass a single one. I'd show up to meetings every day sleep deprived, food deprived, with blisters all over my fingers from hitting the pipe all night, desperate for help, then come home and within the hour I'd be digging in the trash for the meth pipe. I haven't touched it since April, which is the longest I've ever gone aside from being locked up. Got back with Jason and stayed with him for almost a year. That didn't work out. I'm doing good. Got sent to a penticostle cult in Alabama. Was supposed to stay for two years, but I left on my 18th birthday. They told me I was going to hell for leaving and it was against God's will, blah blah blah. Fucked with my head for a while. Don't talk to anyone from high school anymore. Don't talk to anyone at all anymore really, except my best friend Brittney who is wonderful, and my fience. Yeah I got engaged. To Freeman. Ha... yeah, I'm surprised too. I'm finally off probation. After four years of Hell. Jordan stopped talking to me. It still hurts every now and then. I will never love anyone the way I loved Jordan. I just called him today for the first time in months, and we're trying to be on good terms. He's moving to Kentucky in August. I hate losing people. The week I got back from Alabama I met a boy named Jay and moved in with him right away. Lived with him for three months in his filthy apartment, drinking and fighting, drinking and fighting. Moved out and moved in with my big brother in south Austin. Loved every minute of it. Me and Brittney had a hell of a time for that whole two months. My brother got sick of my drinking and me selling exstacy out of his house, so he kicked me out. Was homeless for a few months, and my mom finally took me back. I've been living with her, staying with Freeman in Fort Hood on the weekends. He's great. I've been through a few jobs since I last updated, got fired from most of them, quit a few of them. Just got a job at a doggy boarding school, training dogs, which will be nice.
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